have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize