I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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