I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I believe in your delicious
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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