Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Randomize
