I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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