Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
