I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize