I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Randomize