Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Randomize
