My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
