i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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