butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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