"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
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I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
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I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
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