This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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