Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
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