Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
