Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
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