Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
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