real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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