are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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