new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
