A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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