Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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