He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
