doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
