If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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