The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
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