i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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