don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Maybe he injected his testicle?
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
