haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I feel like a drive thru vagina
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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