I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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