I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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