HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize
