Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
ttyl tear gas
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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