i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
