I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
