he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
