Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
