Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
