he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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