I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
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