You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize