I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Houston, we have a squirter
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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