My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize