she looked like the bat from fern gully.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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