I think i peed on brittanys purse
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
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