I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
