ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize