I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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