just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
