Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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