Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
