don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
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If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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