Im at strip club and am horny
if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
