i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I supernannyed him into submission
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize