i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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