Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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