So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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